ちょっと汚い話ですけど・・・ I should say the warning in English too - The following is a little nasty, but as they say - it is easier to apologize after the fact than to ask permission before.

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Yesterday, while on our daily 散歩, we passed by some doggie poop. It was a long, single piece of poop. I asked Yumi if we should pick it up to keep the road clean (we carry our pooper scooper with us), but I quickly answered myself by saying something like, 「一本だけなら大丈夫かな。」 (Well, it’s only one piece.)

Yumi let out a chuckle after hearing 「一本」, so I asked, 「ウンチの数え方は何でしょうか？」 (How do you count poop?)

I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever seen how to count poop in a textbook. But usually long, slender objects use 一本、二本 (ippon, nihon…) and this particular poop fit the description.

Yumi replied, 「一個。でも普通、ウンコなんか数えません。」 (ikko. But normally I don’t count something like poop.)

I concurred with 「そうだね。」 (Yeah, I suppose so.)

One would think that would be the end of it. But one would be wrong…

Our tireless investigative team found a reference in a highly respected journal supporting the counting of ウンチ and more importantly, validating Clay’s choice of counter. Well, ok. It wasn’t exactly a highly respected journal, but it was the next best thing: a クレーヨンしんちゃん manga:

Crayon Shinchan #8 Page 98*

Reading from right to left:

PANEL ONE
チャンスよ　ひとりで　いるわ chansu yo hitori de iru wa
This is our chance! He is by himself

イッキに　さらうわよ ikki ni sarauwa yo
All at once, let’s grab ‘em!

PANEL TWO
ばっ ba!
[Sound of surprise]

おわっ owa!
[Another sound of surprise]

PANEL THREE
やだっ　ウンコ中よ　こいつ yada! unko chuu yo koitsu
Ouhhh! He’s pooping, that brat

おっ　福引きの　おかまさんたち o! fukubiki no okama san tachi
Ah! The transvestites from the lottery.
(the sales lady and her companion on page 93 had tried to sell Shinchan’s mother something through a lottery ticket; Shinchan thinks this lady isn’t a real lady - hence the おかま reference)

げっ　一本　ぶらさがってる ge! ippon puransagatteru
Ouhhh! One piece is dangling!

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Notice the 「一本」

Q.E.D.

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Vocab

ちょっと汚い話ですけど・・・ chotto kitanai hanashi desu kedo - It’s a little dirty, but…
散歩 sanpo - (a) walk
「一本だけなら大丈夫かな。」 ippon dake nara daijoubu kana - It’s ok if it’s just one piece, right?
「ウンチの数え方は何でしょうか？」 unchi no kazoekata wa nan deshou ka? - How do you count poop?
「一個。でも普通、ウンコなんか数えません。」 ikko. demo futsuu, unko nanka kazoemasen. - ‘ikko’ But normally I don’t count something like poop. [The なんか helps to show the absurdity of the question and means something like 'something like'.]
「そうだね。」

クレーヨンしんちゃん kure-yon shinchan - Crayon Shinchan, the manga star

* Of course I had to censor the manga a bit on account of Shin-chan’s pants being a bit too low.